Jenny (amazed yet compassionate): My God, you look awful!

Last night, I went to a meeting hosted by...I can hardly bring myself. Socialists. Because socialists by their nature can't organise anything, it was half an hour late getting started but actually turned out quite interesting. It was re. war with Iraq, which I plan to refer to in my dissertation as the War of Distressed Denim, due to its suddenly being trendy without anyone knowing entirely why.

I've been multiculturalising a lot lately. I live in one of the nicer buildings on campus, and all the overseas students live here, due to its not being scummy. I can now count to ten in Chinese, and say 'I'm fine, thanks' in Swahili. Also, if I'm ever lost in Korea, I can announce that I am going to the library. For all this internationalist jingoism, however, I think I'm still pretty parochial - it's because I'm from East Anglia - because whenever I meet someone from Thailand I have to stop myself from yelling 'SAY LADYBOY!' at them.

I'm going to go and be alone (forever) with the Guardian.