ME: Oh, God.

WORLD'S BEST TRICK-OR-TREAT KID: Trick or treat!

ME: What? What am I supposed to do with you?

WBTOTK: Well, we ring your doorbell and then you give us sweets or money.

ME: This isn't even my house.

WBTOTK: (with infinite distaste) You lot are students, aren't you?

ME: Yes. Sorry.

WBTOTK: (after a thoughtful pause) Got any beer?

ME: What? No! You're eleven.

The WBTOTK adopts a mournful air. I, inevitably, pull out my wallet.

ME: I've got...7p.

WBTOTK: That'll do.

ME: Technically this is robbery, isn't it?

WBTOTK: Technically, yes. But this is creepy robbery.