Secondly, I am concurrently planning both my university graduation ceremony and my imminent career as a rock star. I have taken approximately the same amount of practical action with regard to each. I mean, really. Stupid gown, cardboard scroll, minor royalty. Why is it so expensive? I don't understand. Speaking of money, I'm sick of having holes in my clothes and have thusly decided to wear deconstructed suits and 'difficult' hair, in order to ruthlessly pursue a career in the meeja. It's not only Alan Partridge who can have the third most popular show on Radio Norwich, you know.